There is healing in words. Writing words, I believe are a form of prayer.
In fact it is one of the more personable prayers, if you ask me.
Just stark, open honesty, open, vulnerable.
It is the time we are most ready to be lifted up and connect, when we are down.
I heard on a program once someone say we as a society selfishly pray in general.
Well truth is, I agree. But there is also healing in selfish prayer, sometimes.
We can finally see our faults, our sins, our bindings, and we desperately
want them gone. Need them gone and we won't stop praying or give up until they are gone.
And all that is left is our beautiful scars. How can a scar be beautiful. Trust me, they can,
and are. Scars are victory, but they also help us to never go back to that path that wounded us.
Fear, I never want to go back, but so scared of my weaknesses. It is not my Father, I fear,
or doubt, it is me, and it is my humble cry that I never do go back, not just for me, but for my God,
my husband, and my children. You see selfishness can lead to unselfishness sometimes.
Why do I write and post the poems I do, well the answer is I am not sure.
Other than my God lays them there and also I desperately want all those who have the same feelings and thoughts know that you are not the only one, even the most polished and educated christian feels the same way, and you know what, there is nothing wrong with you for it. You are not a failure or less of a child of God or lower than anyone else. It does not mean you are unlovable or undeserving. It means you are more lovable and passionate and in your Father's eyes and heart always, and He loves you more every day and He longs for you to love him more every day too.
